TheHeartsTears

...and my sarcastic responses. Q: Are you really a scientist? A:No, I just stand in the lab for decoration. Q: They let women be scientists? A: If we promise them our first-born child, yes. Q: How can you be a scientist and a Christian? A: I alternate. On odd days, I'm a scientist, and on even days, I'm a Christian. Q: Oh, so you're like Walter White from Breaking Bad? A: Yeah, except my drugs are way better than his. Q: Can you make me some drugs? A: Only if you want to be cellmates in prison. These are just a few gems that I've been asked. It's a wonder I haven't smacked anybody. Yet.

  The English language is the shizz, this I am painfully aware of.  There are so many slang words - as you can see from the first sentence - and so many words from other languages folded into everyday speech that it’s a wonder those of us born in English speaking countries can even manage its intricacies. It doesn’t help that the age of texting requires us to shorten words and leave out punctuation just to get a message to fit.  That tendency has an unfortunate habit of bleeding over into real written communication, where it does not belong. Below are a few examples of incorrect word usage, capitalization, and punctuation that I